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The 1st Golden Pinball Awards!

April 1, 2010

Thank you, thank you. So much applause! You are very kind! Yes, all two of you.

We are gathered here tonight to celebrate the achievements of the World of Warcraft player base, as seen by our very exclusive board of judges. I absolutely must stress how exclusive this board is. So exclusive, in fact, that its only member is yours truly!

Without further ado, let us start distributing the Golden Pinballs!

This edition’s Silence is Golden Award goes to a Female Gnome Warlock with Green Hair from Draenor, whose only line in a very smooth run was “Let’s do this”. Yes, complete with proper capitalization, punctuation, and use of apostrophe! While her linguistic skills certainly added some weight to her indication, it was her exemplar behavior all through the run that won her this Golden Pinball: she stopped AoEing when her threat got too high, ran back towards the tank when acquiring proximity aggro, and focusing on the marked target even when the boss walked into the trash pack we were dealing with.

The Reading Comprehension Award goes to the Male Draenei Shaman with White Hair from Uldum, who, when reading the healer wanted no AoE until a certain Whirlwinding mob was dead, assumed he could not use any of his totems. This kept going until the tank (yours truly) told him he could use his totems as long as he kept shooting the right mobs first.

The Repair Bill Award goes to the Male Human Death Knight with White Hair (is there any other color?) from Stormscale, for making a point out of Death Gripping every mob the tank (again, yours truly) Charged at and DPSing in Frost Presence because “im takin to much damage”. Final death count by the end of the run: 7 deaths, all belonging to the holder of this Award.

The Brickwall Award For Outstanding Health Pool goes to the Female Human Rogue with Black Hair from Uldum, who sported a magnificent 32k fully-buffed HP and still managed to pull off competitive DPS. Congratulations!

And last but not least, the 1st Golden Pinball Magnificent Bastard Award goes to PvPing Frost Mages as a whole, whose Ice Barrier will shatter and root you in place even if you one-shot them. Hats off to them!

That’s it for the first edition of the Golden Pinball Awards! Stay tuned for more as the indications come in!

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